I walk out of my house two days ago and think I see something small and furry slither away from me. I jump and yell "ewww" at it before realizing that it's a squirrel. I feel bad for saying ew at it until I realize that it's back legs and tail are paralyzed and it actually was slithering about like some kind of squirrley little snake-walrus thing. So I tell him, You're so gross. And leave.

Two days later and the poor little guy is still hiding under my deck. I go out this afternoon and leave him some cat food, because Jesus Christ.

The cat follows me out and sees the squirrel for the first time.

This is how pathetic this little guy is:

First off my cat isn't even mildly interested in him as prey. Ransom walks over, looks at him, sits, walks away. He does this about three times and the poor little squirrel is about to pop an artery he's so freaked out. The fourth time Ranse gets a step too close and the little squirrel goes waddling out from under the deck and heads STRAIGHT FOR A TREE. Little pea brain squirrel instincts at work here. However, since his entire bottom half is paralyzed, he gets to the base of the trunk and can't do a damn thing. So he starts making frantic circles around the bottom trying to figure out a way up, but really all he manages is to get himself more worked up. Meanwhile, Ranse doesn't give a shit and is still under the deck inspecting something more interesting, like a leaf or juicy bit of newspaper clipping.



I watch both of them, for a bit but then go inside because the whole thing is too damn sad.