Guess which one has already written a novel

I am taking an introduction to writing fiction class. This is the first step to becoming a professional writer. Here is a sampling from our first assignment:

"I was dying because of the one I loved who in return loved me not."

"Later that day Matt, DJ, and I went over to Boston Market to eat and when we got back interesting stuff happened."

"My mucus membrains in my nose would freeze as I sucked in air."

"Hot water drips through the corner crevice of my bloodshot sunken almonds."

"We curl into fetal position, a woven mass of skin pretzal."

"Marlin's white T-shirt was once white."

"It got to whenever she would come over Rufus would roll over on his back and get an erection." (Rufus is a dog. It took me two readings to figure this out.)

Keep in mind it's the desert

On the corner of second street and fourth ave. there's a house with daffodils in the front yard. You have to walk through two huge arbors covered in dead vines but if you make it to the other side you can expect a handsom rewarded of three fully blossomed daffodil flowers. Also, a few streets over there are chickens but I have forgotten the exact address.