I propose a law.

This is aimed at writers.

Namely the writers in my fiction class.

Here's the law:

From this day forward nobody will ever write a story that involves a mysterious stranger that disappears mysteriously.


With that said lets cut down on suicides, tragic breakups, and lesbians turning straight.

This is how I live

This is what I hear from my room this morning

Leah: "Oh, ewww!"
Todd: "HEY! Don't watch me pee!"
Leah: "Don't do it in the BACKYARD!"


sigh

Revenge is petty

I'm living with this guy named Todd. He is without a doubt the most despicable person I have ever met. When he first moved in he was seeing a fifteen year old girl. He broke up with her because she thought she might be pregnant. It turned out she wasn't but a few months later she called him up again. She told him that she had gotten drunk at a party and slept with some guy she didn't know. Again she thought she might be pregnant. Apparently she didn't have anyone else to call. After hanging up the phone Todd came into my room with a big smile on his face. He told me what she said on the phone. I told him that is so sad. He told me he was going to buy her a 'congratulations on the baby' card.

Over winter break he and his friend Nate the Rapist (who, I might add, is now dating the best friend of the girl who gave him his nickname)had a party in our house. He let his friends sleep on my room. The result is $475 dollars worth of damages. Which actually means his friends stole $475 dollars worth of DVDs from me.

(a shortened version)
"Todd, did you let people sleep in my room?"
"No."
"You're lying to me, I know they slept in there. And they stole my DVDs."
"I didn't let anyone into your room! I was in my room the whole time!"
(He actually tried to use this as a defense. Todd is an idiot.)
"Todd, this $475 is your problem."
"I'll pay you fifty dollars from each of my paychecks."

I haven't seen a cent, shockingly. Tonight he told me he is having another party, I have no plans of staying overnight in this house with this party. I have decided, however, that if I find out that Todd has let anyone into my room tonight I am going to do two things. The first being I will call his mother. I will tell her that he had a party and now he owes us almost $500 in damages. I will tell her this is her problem because Todd says he cannot afford to pay. If shes says no (which I'm secretly hoping) I am going to take Todd to court. I figure I can't lose.

So, there is a party in my house tonight. Please come. Please go into my room. I doubt you will be stopped. Please mess something up. Then leave because the party is going to be awful. Thank you.

aww

DaPuj: Whoa

Auto response from amycarina: I'm only half as interested as I act

DaPuj: You must be the most apathetic person ever then


Ha, we're both assholes.

Is it always like this?

I was having lunch with Leah at the Reddington Restaurant in the Union the other day. There was a new girl working, a new bus girl. She was very small and looked very young. I guessed was she was still in high school. About halfway through our meal I heard something break directly behind me. I turned around as the tiny bus girl was frantically scrambling to clean up the mess of the plate she dropped. One of the waiters came over, helped her quickly pick up, and shooed her away. I went back to my salad and delicious green marshmallow fluff stuff.

I didn't think anything of the broken plate because, well, it was just a broken plate. I didn't think anything of it until about ten minutes later when there was a bigger, louder, closer crash. I turned around again and there she was, standing behind a huge grey cart piled high with dirty plates. In front of it was a pile of broken plates and spilled leftovers. She stood frozen as her coworkers rushed over with their dirty rags and annoyed looks.

They scooped the mess back onto her cart and scattered back to their important jobs of asking people how they are and filling half full water glasses.

I looked up at her as she walked slowly by me. Her face was red and she was staring stiffly at the floor. Tears ran down her face. As she managed to round the final corner and disappear into the back of the restaurant I could hear her choke back a cry.

My waitress came by and apologized to me for all the commotion.

Nobody went after the tiny bus girl.

Call me vain

Wow.


Twenty-seven people looked at pictures of my cat on the internet last week.

http://community.webshots.com/user/amycarina

Maybe I'm obsessing

I'm on facebook. Embarrassing I know, but hey, you either have a live journal or obsessively read other people's live journals so I can safely assume you're lame too.

There's a way to send people messages through the program. It acts very much like email. There is also a feature called "poking." I have no idea what the point of poking is or why one would want to do this to someone else. Imagine my shock when I get my first poke from a complete stranger.

"You have been poked by XXX.

Poke XXX back. or Ignore poke."

The first thing I do,naturally, is panic. Well, shit, now what do I do? I don't know this guy but he poked me. Maybe I do know him and have forgotten him somehow. Facebook only gives me two options, poke back or ignore the poke. But what does poking someone back mean? What message do I send to him if I engage in this game of poke. Can I just throw a poke around even if I don't know this kid? How can I just ignore a poke? How can I be so rude? How can I risk the fact that an ignored poke will be the last I hear from this mystery boy? I poke him back.

About four seconds later I have a message.

"Do you want to get coffee sometime?"

Oh no. I check his profile. His picture is from a distance. It is him breathing a long plume of fire, obscuring his face. The only connection I can find is that he is in my film history class. There are 250 other people in that class. I sit in the very back and only talk to my thirty year old friend with long hair, a goatee, and gimp knee from rocking out too hard on stage with his heavy metal band. I have no idea who this kid could be or why he wants to have coffee with me.

I log off of facebook. Now what should I do? Do I send him a message saying no, I will not have coffee with you internet boy? Do I say yes and risk the fact that this is an internet boy. Or... do I break out my magnifying glass and pipe and crack this case?

It's been two weeks and here is everything I know so far:

1) His name is J. James Neff
2) He is Mar 100b but not in section 10
3) He breaths fire
4) He likes coffee
5) He is not the tall guy with a slight accent who gets three refills a day from my coffee store, this guy does not breath fire
6) He might be the blond guy who looks at me funny sometimes. My metal friend is going to find out his name next week...

If you know anything about this boy please come forward. I encourage you to look him up on facebook. I also encourage you to ask everyone you meet if they breath fire. If they say yes, take note.

I'll start my own blood bank

New life plan:

Step 1: Finish Creative Writing Major (because I can)

Step 2: Finish Business Minor (for a little respect)

Step 3: Finish BFA Media Arts program (an *expensive* gift to myself)

Step 4: Begin entry level position (surprisingly well paying)

Step 5: Go to grad school and recieve Master's in Business Administration (for free)

Step 6: Get high powered advertising executive position (be paid handsomely)

Step 7: Write my own Pulitzer Prize winning book

Step 8: Bleed money