Drastic haircut: Check... Pint of ice cream: Check... New dress: Check, check, check

I recently broke up with Kyle and as a result needed to go on a terribly indulgent dress buying spree. That very same day I was walking through Johns looking for the cash machine with my sister. I was sporting a new green polkadot dress with puffy sleeves, a black and white headband (also polkadotted), and brand new red patent leather shoes with the most satisfying tap I've ever heard. And was feeling pretty good about myself. Amy was walking a few feet ahead of me and when I passed an old man with a long white beard he looked me up and down, "Nice outfit, waaay above average."

"Haha, yes. Go me." I naturally think to myself. Until, that is, my darling sister leans real close to tell me that, "Oh my god, that guy was just talking about prostitutes and how much all the different girls cost!"



(Honestly, still a bit smug about the whole thing)