You are the worst person to own a pet.

The plan: raise ‘em up to have low expectations

So, Iowa gives me an entire week off for Thanksgiving break which is great and wonderful and naturally, I take advantage and plan to spend the entire time in Virginia. Unfortunately, that’s about as far as my planning went last week when really I should have been getting ready for a week away from home. Instead, I put everything off until the very last possible minute. I have a spare key made in the ten minutes between my class and leaving for work where I just hand it to my co-worker/neighbor so she can take care of Kitty. That night is a desperate scramble to buy cat food, write instructions, find enough money to pay my neighbor, pack, and clean my apartment well enough to not be an embarrassment. But I do it and all is well the next morning when I leave and let Kitty out to play because the weather is actually rather nice.

All is well until the next morning when my neighbor leaves me a message, “Um Carina, the key you gave me doesn’t work.”

Goddamnit.

So I call and we work out a plan. Kitty will roam the halls for a week, sleeping on the stairs and eating twice a day from a bowl my neighbor leaves in the laundry room next to the dryers.

Homeless Kitty.

I get back last night and call my neighbor this morning. She is amazed that living in the hallways for a week by himself didn’t even phase the cat. “He’s just like John Wayne, totally laid back. He’s so independent, like he doesn’t need anyone.”

I don’t know if this should be considered good parenting or very bad parenting.